Motherhood is an intense journey. Being a mother is discovering strenghs you did not know you had as well as fears you did not know existed. It comes with no manual. It can be overwhelming, takes us out of alignment and what we have known. Not too long ago, we lived in communities and women mentored each other through motherhood and raised families together. Nowadays, motherhood is a more isolated journey, however, mothers still need guidance, support, and mentorship. It is said that we need a village to raise a child, and I believe that we also need a village to raise a mom.
Mothers need support and mothering themselves, and many mothers today find themselves stressed out and alone.
Motherhood is a constant balance act of giving and setting boundaries with love and warmth. Parenting requires us to stay grounded in the midst of crisis and chaos, to embrace our imperfections with compassion, and to give unconditional love to our children and to ourselves. Motherhood is a 24/7 job, and there are no holidays. It can be tiring and exhausting! We can easily lose ourselves in the endless tasks of nurturing our partners, tending to our children, and keeping our home and careers. Our job is to nurture others, and we can forget to nurture ourselves until our cup is so empty that we are running on fumes.
I have learned that you need to do YOU before you do others. This is the opposite of what we have been taught— that we need to constantly give to everyone. The truth is the opposite; when we give to and nourish ourselves, everyone around us benefits. Taking care of yourself is taking care of your family. This is even more important with children since they learn from their experiences with adults around them and literally, though their brains (mirror-neurons), feel what we feel. We communicate through the way we feel rather than the words we say. Therefore, our internal emotional state is crucial in raising our children and, of course, imperative to address so that we can live our best life with and truly enjoy our loved ones.
In my work with parents, I have seen that one of the main struggles parents face is guilt. Working moms tend to feel guilty for not seeing the kids as much as they would want to or as much as they think they should. Staying at home moms feel so guilty for not being as patient with their kids all the time, not being as present as they would want to, or not being as accomplished as they expected to be.
The bottom line is that guilt takes much psychic energy away from ourselves and our relationships. My intention is to attend to core values and needs so that you can find the balance necessary to get through the growing pains of motherhood without feeling like you are neglecting yourself, your kids, or your partners.
Therapy for parents
Many of my clients come to therapy or coaching to understand their child’s development, behavior, and feelings. They look for ways to connect better to their children and themselves to build meaningful and close relationships with each other. Parents look for guidance and coaching also when they are looking to feel better about themselves and be the best version of a parent they could be. They invest in themselves, to change from the inside out, and to fill their cups. Many feel lost and do not even know who they are anymore, what they like, what they want, and how to attend to themselves.
In the Boston Globe, Chelsea Conaboy highlights the importance of addressing the mental health of new mothers. Pregnancy and motherhood create dramatic changes in a woman’s brain; an awareness of these changes can make the transition easier and reveal if you need to seek help.
The effects of working on yourself will have a ripple effect on your partner, children, and loved ones. Most importantly it will change your way of living and experiencing life.
Coaching can help you gain insight into your child’s behavior and practical tools to improve negative behavior. The process often involves meeting with the parents to get to know them and their concerns, an office, school or home observation to better understand the child and his/ her development and further coaching meetings with the parents to work towards the desired goal. If you want to work on something specific with your child, coaching would be ideal.
How therapy for parents can help you
Many of my clients come to therapy to invest in feeling better, to change from the inside out, and to fill their cups. Many feel lost and do not even know who they are anymore, what they like, what they want, and how to attend to themselves. Others recognize that they get triggered with their children and/ or partners due to old patterns or past relationships dynamics and want to change that. Therapy offers a unique space for personal growth and transformation so you can be your best version of YOU.
Get help with parenting
I can help support you with your parenting journey and guide you towards self-care that will enable you to be the best parent you can be. Contact me for a complimentary 15 minute phone consultation to see if my services are a good fit for you.“There is no passion to be found playing small, in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.” —Nelson Mandela